Ailing parents

    When do you discuss the future of the family home with your elderly parents?

    Recently  I read an article in the Real Estate section of the New York Times  written by Constance Rosenblum. She made a very good point that all adult children need to discuss with their elderly parents. What do our elderly parents believe is the future of their family home?

    For many of our parents, their home is probably the most valuable asset they own. It is  the last thing that they want to give up. But they need to realize that if they leave it to their children to decide, after they are gone, it can often lead to family rifts that last for decades.

    One of my wife’s friends took care of her parents the last few years of their lives. She lived with them full time and dedicated her life to taking care of them. When they died they left their home to her in their wills. Her brothers were shocked and extremely upset that they were not consulted in this decision. As a result they have not spoke to her for years.

    Ms. Rosenblum makes several very valid points in the article:

    1. Take a few basic steps early on. This will avoid problems in the future
    2. Start early to discuss the future of your parents’ home with them, while they are both healthy.
    3. Begin the conversation in a non-threatening setting. Consider sharing with them the article that appeared in the NY Times (or this blog)
    4. Balance Competing Issues. Don’t let taxes and financial concerns be the only motivating factors. Consider if the home still works for your parents and will as they age.
    5. The future of the family home becomes more complicated when several children are involved. Each has their own agenda. Involve everyone in the discussion.

    In my book, Can We Talk? A Financial Guide For Baby Boomers Assisting Their Elderly Parents, I have a chapter on transferring real estate from your parents which includes such ideas as the Life Estate and the Qualified Personal Residence Trust. Please read this chapter to learn more.

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    When do elderly people lose their youth?

    Guest post is written by Alana Vial

    Many of us direct our intentions to ensure that we enjoy a convenient stress-free healthy elderly life.

    But when do elderly people really lose their youth and begin to fall prey to the psychological and emotional burdens of the elderly stages of life?

    Factors That Make Elderly People Lose Their Youth

    There are 3 great factors that influence the loss of one’s youth:

    1. Stress – No matter how old one becomes or how young one still is, the amount of stress greatly affects his or her ability to deal with aging. The human body experiences increased aging due to the hormones that need to be released in a stressful environment. When such processes are repeatedly experienced, the human body can no longer undergo reversible conditions thus fall prey to aging.
    2. Support and coping – No matter how great the stress that elderly people experience, as long as they have the right coping mechanisms and support sources, they will stay healthy.
    3. Information – When it comes to maintaining one’s youth, the amount of information that has been acquired to deal with all possible problems of aging matters a lot. This involves gathering as much information as possible in not only dealing with the common diseases and problems of elderly life but also maintaining quality of life despite old age.

    When do you say goodbye to your youth?

    After everything that has been said, you can easily tell when an elderly loses his or her youth. It is the point the he or she gives up and loses hope. Seeing the world through the eyes of youthfulness is seeing it with strength, hope, and glee. No matter how harsh, depressing, or hopeless a situation, with all 3 factors mentioned above adequately provided to your elderly, they will never lose their youth and fall prey to the a disastrous aging process.

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    PERMISSION TO REPRINT:
    =======================
    Financial Advisors may reprint any articles from The Gift of Communication Blog in your own print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph:

    Reprinted from Bob Mauterstock’s The Gift of Communication Blog. Subscribe at http://www.GiftofCommunication.com  and receive Bob’s Family Meeting Checklist Guide.