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    Bob Mauterstock

    Do You and Your Aging Parents Have a Digital Estate Plan?

    You may be comfortable that your have your estate plan in order. You have a will, a durable power of attorney, a living will and a health care proxy. But do you have a digital estate plan?

    In the past, we kept albums full of snapshots, vinyl records and shoeboxes full of correspondence. Now our photos are all on Flickr and iPhone, our music is downloaded from iTunes and our correspondence is email via Yahoo or Google. Naomi Cahn, a law professor at George Washington University, stated that most adults have 20-25 accounts on the internet. And many of those accounts are for banking or investments.

    Have you given instructions to your family on what to do with your internet accounts if you should die? And do they even know how to access those accounts? User names, passwords, internet addresses?

    The family of Ricky Rash, a 15-year old who committed suicide in 2011, discovered how difficult it was to recover information from their deceased son’s internet account. In an effort to understand why he had taken his own life, they requested but were refused access to his Facebook account.

    Facebook claimed that according to the Stored Communications Act of 1986 – the federal law that governs the protection of a person’s electronic data – even the account of a minor is protected from access by his parents or anyone else.  Other sites and providers interpret the legislation this way, making access all but impossible.

    There are only five states that have taken any steps to help recover the internet data of a deceased person—Indiana, Idaho and Oklahoma legislation covers social media and blogging accounts, while Connecticut and Rhode Island legislation covers only email.

    What does this mean for you? It is critical that you create a digital estate plan. The listing of internet accounts needs to be comprehensive. Information must include:

    • the name of the account
    • the contents of the account
    • the URL address
    • username
    • password
    • instructions for the disposition of the account including the person to oversee such disposition.

    I have created a new spreadsheet to gather this information. You can download a copy at http://www.YourDigitalEstatePlan.com

    There is a whole new industry that has been created to service your digital estate including Everplans.com, a new digital estate planning service. An Everplan is a secure, digital archive of everything your loved ones will need should something happen to you. It contains:

    • Wills, Trusts, and insurance policies
    • Important accounts and passwords
    • Info about your home: bills, vendors, etc.
    • Health and medical information
    • Advance Directives and DNRs
    • Final wishes and funeral preferences

    There are also online memorial services to celebrate your client’s life, including www.Bcelebrated.com, and www.MyWonderfulLife.com. These services enable your clients to create their own memorials before they pass away. Facebook and Twitter also offer these services for family members.

    The importance of having a digital estate plan will increase as more and more of our assets (and access to assets) are online. Gradually laws will evolve to give family members access to deceased loved ones’ accounts. It is important to prepare your clients for the disposition of their digital assets now so that family members will not be unpleasantly surprised when they attempt to uncover them.

    If you want to explore digital estate planning in more detail read Evan Carroll’s excellent book, Your Digital Afterlife.  This book was the source of many of the sites I mention in this article.

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    Reprinted from Bob Mauterstock’s The Gift of Communication Blog. Subscribe at http://www.GiftofCommunication.com  and receive Bob’s Family Meeting Checklist Guide.

    9 Critical Steps to Protect Your Aging Parents

    After all of my years in the financial advisor industry and in dealing with elderly clients, I have come up with 9 critical steps to protect aging parents and/or clients.

    These steps are:

    1. Policy Review: Review all life insurance policies, annuities and IRA accounts to verify primary and contingent beneficiaries. List account numbers and contact information

    2. Durable Power of Attorney: Establish Durable Power of Attorney and name appropriate person to hold that power.

    3. Health Cary Proxy: Identify Health Care Proxy and describe extent of care desired through a living will. I suggest you use Five Wishes Form from www.agingwithdignity.org

    4. Long-Term Care Plan: Discuss long term care plan with parents.

    5. Trust Agreements: Review will and any trust agreements to determine if still relevant and confirm who executor/executrix and trustee is.

    6. Financial Accounts: List all bank and investment accounts, identifying account numbers and who the legal account holder is.

    7. Internet-based Accounts: Identify all internet based accounts, listing web address, user name and password. List beneficiary for each account.

    8. Key Professional Contacts: Identify all key professional contacts including, attorney, financial adviser, accountant, banker and spiritual adviser. Note desired contact information.

    9. Maintaining Records: Maintain a record of where all the above forms, documents and information are stored. I suggest using either a three-ring notebook or a web-based Dropbox for storage. Make sure your spouse and children know the location of these records.

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    Financial Advisors may reprint any articles from The Gift of Communication Blog in your own print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph:

    Reprinted from Bob Mauterstock’s The Gift of Communication Blog. Subscribe at http://www.GiftofCommunication.com  and receive Bob’s Family Meeting Checklist Guide.

    Why have our Parents become targets for Elder Abuse?

    Financial scams involving our elderly parents are becoming an increasing problem throughout the  U.S.  Surprisingly, 90% of these financial crimes are committed by people who have personal access to your parents. They could include relatives, caregivers, healthcare workers and attorneys.

    Why is it that our parents have become such targets for financial abuse?

    Reason #1 Wealth concentration. Scam artists go where the money is. Forty-four percent of all wealth in America lies with older Americans. In addition, the concentration of people in this category is growing by 8,000 people per day as the baby boomers—those born after 1945 and prior to 1965—enter this peak wealth stage of their life in record numbers beginning in 2011.

    Reason #2 Mental Capacity. As people get older those high-level thinking abilities required to  differentiate between a fraud and a legitimate transaction diminish. Studies show that between 15% and 35% of older Americans experience some form of cognitive impairment and may not even be aware of it.

    Reason #3 Desire to Stay Healthy. Older Americans want very much to stay healthy and avoid chronic sickness. Some older folks will believe anything in an attempt to feel healthy again. They will pay a lot of money for cure-alls with little evidence of success.

    Reason #4 Politeness. People born in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s, were taught to be polite, and con artists will prey on these positive qualities. Politeness was taught at home; it was reinforced at school, church, and anywhere a young person went. It was an automatic response and was learned at an early age. Older Americans don’t like to question things and have a hard time saying “no” to people. When aggressively approached by a con artist, they are often willing to comply passively.

    Reason #5 Less Likely to report abuse and fraud. Older folks are less likely to report fraud. They do not make good witnesses because of the memory issues and con artists know this. In addition, seniors fear losing care, physical harm, and embarrassment if the perpetrator is their caregiver. An older person may fear losing freedom if they complain too much—one more complaint could send them to the nursing home or cause them to lose driving privileges. They think, “Maybe I should just stay quiet so I don’t lose my freedoms.”

    What can you do to help your parents avoid financial abuse?

    1. Remind your parents that financial elder abuse is serious and they need to be on guard.
    2. Routinely offer to help review your parents’ transactions or discuss concerns about situations or people that may be on their mind. Make sure their important papers are safely locked away. Review credit card and bank statements looking for small transactions.
    3. If you are a significant distance from your parents consider having them set up a revocable trust with a corporate trustee—there is no better protection for a client. Corporate trustees are the most regulated financial entities in our industry; they’re regulated by the OCC, the FDIC, and the state banking commission.
    4. Durable power of attorneys are an important estate planning tool for your parents ( and you as well). But the person with that durable power has unlimited access to your parents’ finances. If you are not the person given that power make sure the individual with the power sends you copies of all transactions that they are involved in. Have them send you duplicate banking and investment statements each month.

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    PERMISSION TO REPRINT:
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    Financial Advisors may reprint any articles from The Gift of Communication Blog in your own print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph:

    Reprinted from Bob Mauterstock’s The Gift of Communication Blog. Subscribe at http://www.GiftofCommunication.com  and receive Bob’s Family Meeting Checklist Guide.

    When do you discuss the future of the family home with your elderly parents?

    Recently  I read an article in the Real Estate section of the New York Times  written by Constance Rosenblum. She made a very good point that all adult children need to discuss with their elderly parents. What do our elderly parents believe is the future of their family home?

    For many of our parents, their home is probably the most valuable asset they own. It is  the last thing that they want to give up. But they need to realize that if they leave it to their children to decide, after they are gone, it can often lead to family rifts that last for decades.

    One of my wife’s friends took care of her parents the last few years of their lives. She lived with them full time and dedicated her life to taking care of them. When they died they left their home to her in their wills. Her brothers were shocked and extremely upset that they were not consulted in this decision. As a result they have not spoke to her for years.

    Ms. Rosenblum makes several very valid points in the article:

    1. Take a few basic steps early on. This will avoid problems in the future
    2. Start early to discuss the future of your parents’ home with them, while they are both healthy.
    3. Begin the conversation in a non-threatening setting. Consider sharing with them the article that appeared in the NY Times (or this blog)
    4. Balance Competing Issues. Don’t let taxes and financial concerns be the only motivating factors. Consider if the home still works for your parents and will as they age.
    5. The future of the family home becomes more complicated when several children are involved. Each has their own agenda. Involve everyone in the discussion.

    In my book, Can We Talk? A Financial Guide For Baby Boomers Assisting Their Elderly Parents, I have a chapter on transferring real estate from your parents which includes such ideas as the Life Estate and the Qualified Personal Residence Trust. Please read this chapter to learn more.

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    PERMISSION TO REPRINT:
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    Financial Advisors may reprint any articles from The Gift of Communication Blog in your own print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph:

    Reprinted from Bob Mauterstock’s The Gift of Communication Blog. Subscribe at http://www.GiftofCommunication.com  and receive Bob’s Family Meeting Checklist Guide.

    A Caregiver’s Story (In his own words)

    I was suddenly thrown into the role of caregiver on November 21, 2005. This is the day that my wife Heather and I were stunned with the news that she had malignant pleural mesothelioma. Our lives changed from being the happy parents of a three month old daughter to a family thrown into chaos. Plans for celebrating Lily’s first Christmas were replaced with details of Heathers need for immediate treatment.

    As the doctor told us about the illness, my wife seemed to be lost in shock and disbelief. She said nothing as we were given three options for finding a specialist who would provide her treatment. The university hospital was nearby and we could choose the convenience of not having to leave the area for her treatment. Although the regional hospital had a great reputation, a developed mesothelioma program wasn’t available. Dr. David Sugarbaker specialized in mesothelioma, but that meant traveling to Boston.

    It was then that it hit me that my life had changed as much as hers. Heather seemed unable to respond to the doctor with a decision, too shocked and terrified by the news, so it was up to me to choose her care. I immediately told the doctor “Get us to Boston.” Traveling would be inconvenient, but the specialist seemed our best hope, and I was willing to do anything in the world to help her.

    Heather and I had both worked full time up until the diagnosis. After that, I could only work part time because of the time spent making appointments, travel arrangements, and the trips to Boston. Through it all, Lily still needed my attention. Heather, of course, wasn’t able to work at all. The chaos of those first two months was overwhelming. There was just so much to do, and the list continued to grow no matter how hard I tried to accomplish the needed tasks.

    This was when I was assailed by the fears of what the future might bring. I had to face that fact that my wife might die and I would be alone to raise our daughter.. The possibility of losing our home and all of our possessions because of lost income and the cost of traveling for treatments to battle the mesothelioma scared me to the point that I started to bawl my eyes out right on the kitchen floor. The added stress of keeping my fears from my wife and young daughter made me feel isolated and alone.

    I was slow to realize that we had never been alone. Friends and family stood by us, offering words of comfort and even financial assistance. Support was offered by complete strangers as well. We can’t thank them enough, but it taught me an important lesson that I can share with other cancer patients and their caregivers. Accept the help that is offered. The things to worry about are many, and any relief will reduce the stress so that you’re more able to handle the next task on the list. Emotional support may be the best offer of help. It proves that you’re not alone with your burdens.

    It’s not easy to be a caregiver to someone who has been diagnosed with a serious illness. Your life is changed to one full of uncertainty, chaos and stress. It’s a job that you can’t walk away from when you are panicked or overwhelmed. All you can do is hold on to hope, and lean on those who care about you.

    Heather is now cancer free, but months of fighting the mesothelioma through surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy took us away from anything resembling a normal family routine. Although as a family we struggled through some bleak times, we never lost hope. With the support of friends, family, and strangers we were able to keep our sanity and work our way through the life challenge that threatened to destroy us.

    I’ve learned a lot from being a caregiver to a loved one with a serious illness. Possibly the most important lesson is that it takes strength to let go of pride and ask for help. No matter what the challenge, hope will keep you going, and emotional support keeps that hope alive.

    Tending to the needs of my wife and daughter while juggling the medical appointments, travel and normal household responsibilities showed me that I could manage any amount of stress. It also polished my time management skills. I was able to return to school to earn my degree two years after Heather was diagnosed with mesothelioma. Fighting for Heather made me see that I was capable of doing more than I could have ever dreamed.